I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
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