On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
