You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
