You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
