just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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