i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
