first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
