i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I deserve this hangover.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
