I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
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