May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
