speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
