this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
