I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
