I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
