All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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