He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I believe in your delicious
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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