we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
