do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
