i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
