I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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