it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
