Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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