I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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