He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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