Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
