She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
