Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I love you. Go after that dick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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