just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
