talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
