i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
