im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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