Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i think im in europe. pls send help
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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