This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
