My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
