I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
