didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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