My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
