all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
