I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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