Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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