he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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