Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
