Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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