I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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