Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
