Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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