God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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