Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
