OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
