Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
